Like the Tide
by lollercakes
Summary: Married, changed, standing on the edge of what's next. Anne and Gilbert figure it out together.


Standing on the edge of the water, the ocean lapping at her toes, Anne watches as the waves rush in and recede. Constant. Repeating. It matches the way her mood rolls in and out, joy and loss colliding with every breath.

She had been married for less than a day and though she was happy - heart-stoppingly happy - she also mourned for her past and all the change that marriage brought to her. The ocean understood. She knew it did for it too moved ever forward, evolving and changing day after day as it tracked its way up the sand.

"I was wondering where you wandered off to," Gilbert called from over her shoulder, his words warbling in the rush of the wind and snaking their way around her. "My love, may I join you?"

A smile ghosts across her lips as she glances back at him, the silent invitation pulling him forward until she's able to wrap him up in the blanket she has slung over her shoulders. His warmth radiates off of him much like it had the night before, the feeling unfamiliar but comforting, the scent of him lifting to her nose and making her skin thrum.

"You're shivering," he whispers into her ear, the tip of his nose sliding along her temple as he moves to rest his chin on her head. With his hands settling at her hips she presses closer, holding him to her with her arms tight around his back.

They stand entwined on the edge of the water, curled into one another as the waves lick at their toes. Gilbert has thought to roll up the cuffs of his pants but Anne's nightgown catches in the approaching tide, the thin cotton absorbing and staining wet lines up her legs. The water is cool to the touch and she considers retreating, going back to the house where it's warm and dry, but she's not ready just yet. Instead she threads her hands along Gilbert's spine and sinks into his warmth until all she can feel and smell and want is him.

"You're so warm," she sighs into his chest, her heart thumping heavily as his arms slip around her waist. A jolt of fear bursts through her when his lips graze her neck, the same feeling from last night cascading out from her center until she's stepping back and pulling the blanket tightly around herself, like heavy battle armour.

Her abrupt withdrawal catches him off guard and he freezes in place, his hands held mid-air and a furrow in his brow as he slowly looks up at her. "Anne," he calls to her, careful to not spook her like a woodland creature as she looks up at him with wide eyes.

The memory of last night echoes through her as she turns her back to him, the blanket held up around her ears in embarrassment. Though they'd only said their vows in the afternoon sun the day prior, she hadn't had the courage to consummate the marriage like was expected of her. She'd wanted to, desperately, but her mind had fought her at every step and Gilbert hadn't pressed when she'd curled in on herself and away from his touch.

It had wounded him, childishly, until he'd come alongside her edge of the bed, kneeling before her and seeing the haunted look that passed over her expression. He'd known then that it wasn't a rejection of his advances, nor a mark against him, it was due to her own internal battle that she'd been waging silently since she was just a young girl with too many experiences so unfitting for a child.

He hadn't shied away from her after that. Instead he'd crawled into their wedding bed and wrapped her up against him until her racing heart slowed and her breathing evened out against his neck. She'd slept deeply, peacefully, and he'd promised himself then that he would be there for her and wait without pressure, without judgement, until the moment she came to him.

But standing there on the beach, watching as she pulled away and hid beneath her shell, Gilbert couldn't help but close his eyes and chew the inside of his lip, swallowing back his words and waiting for her to come to him. It wasn't long - he'd waited years for her already - but the cool morning air whipped up against his back and he wrapped his arms around his chest to try to salvage some of his heat while he waited.

His closed off body language is the first thing Anne sees when she finally turns around to look at him, her courage wavering as she worries her lip between her teeth. If he doesn't want her anymore she doesn't know what she'll do. He's everything to her… If she was too cowardly to let herself be vulnerable with him maybe she needed to let him go, maybe she -

"Anne," he whispers, his lips forming into an unassuming soft smile as his frame relaxes before her. The move is opposite to what she expects and she hesitates, faltering as her feet shift her closer instinctively.

"I'm sorry I'm not a good wife," she loudly blurts, glancing away and trying to count the grains of sand at her feet. Gilbert chuckles at her outburst, lifting his finger to bring her chin up so he can meet her gaze head on.

"You're not a bad wife, why would you ever think that?" He questions with a shake of his head, bewilderment etching across his expression.

"I haven't - I didn't - " she stumbles over her words, at a loss for the first time in her life as the sea laps at their feet, rising closer to the folded cuffs of his pants with every new wave. He doesn't feel it, too wrapped up in the moment to concern himself with the rising tide.

"You don't need to do anything you're not comfortable with. There will be time for - "

"But everyone expects - " she interrupts hotly and he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply through his nose to center himself.

"Do you love me?" Gilbert rests his hands on his hips, watching as she snaps her eyes back up to his.

"Of course! Gil - "

"Then that's all I care about, Anne. I want you - only you. I didn't marry everyone else. I married you and we'll be happy together regardless of what anyone expects. I married _you_." He finishes his tirade quietly, his eyes bright with the challenge of convincing her, a game he's played and perfected for years. "It doesn't matter when or how or why. I have _you_ and that's all I've ever wanted."

Anne's heart races as he steps infinitely closer, his hands scraping up her sides until he's brushing his knuckles along her jaw. She wants to close her eyes, to savour the feel of his skin on hers, but she remains enraptured by the fire in his gaze and the way his smile peeks at her just enough. That smile had chased her, had hidden such secrets for so long, and now it was hers.

"I love you," she whispers as her eyes search his, her nerves fraying with the feel and scent of him so close. A heat pulls in her belly as he licks his lips and runs a finger along her jaw to subtly bring her ever closer.

His kiss is slow, gentle, and it lights a fire in her chest that bursts through her like starlight. She moans at the feel of it, the foreign sound so unlike her that she can feel the smile on his lips as he sidles closer. Overwhelmed, underprepared, Anne grips at the edges of her blanket until her fingers turn white and she's sent stumbling in a wave, crashing into the sea as lightheadedness steals her breath.

"Anne!" Gilbert yelps as the same wave knocks him aside, his feet unsteady as he reaches for his downed wife. For a moment he fears that she'll take it as a sign - that maybe she'll use it to continue to be afraid - but when she looks up at him with mirth in her eyes he knows his fears are unfounded. "Let me help you up," he reaches towards her, newly cautious of the incoming water.

"You bowled me over, Mr Blythe," she crows as she settles her hands in his, tugging until he's crashing down next to her as the next wave rolls in. The water lashes up against his side and he gasps, shaking the water from his eyes and laughing through the shock of it. They barely have time to catch their breath before another wave comes in, their clothes soaking through as Gilbert shifts to kneel over her protectively.

In that moment his arms pull her up from the sand until she's falling against his chest, her laughter matching his own as their wet clothes cling to their bodies. He can't help but glance down and catch the way her nightgown fits to her hips, her braided hair loosening at the ribbon and sticking in coloured patterns across her collar. The blush that creeps up her chest and to her cheeks endears him and when he catches her gaze once more he sees the love that's reflected back at him, the uncertainty from the night prior gone in a blink.

"Take me inside, Gilbert," Anne whispers into his ear, drawing back and watching as his adam's apple ripples at her words. With a lurch he grabs the drowned blanket from the ocean's water and pulls gently at her hands, leading her back towards the house.

They're barely through the door before he's turning back towards her, his arms held tightly to his sides as he waits for her to come to him. She doesn't disappoint, launching herself towards him the way she throws herself into every new challenge. It's earnest, it's affirming, and Gilbert can barely keep his hands to himself as she runs her nails along the edge of his hip.

"Upstairs," he mumbles between fevered kisses, his fingers tangled in her hair as his feet slowly move them backwards. Anne breaks apart with a nod, following him and not once letting go of the way his fingers are laced within his. If she let go now she wasn't sure she'd make it through this - only his touch was keeping her grounded from her encroaching worries.

When they stumble through the door together she notices the unkempt bed, the way the two pillows are overlapping each other like the way they'd slept the night before. She hadn't felt prepared then - hadn't been able to process all of the changes that one day could hold - but now as she looked up at Gilbert's steady gaze she knew she was ready.

"We don't have to. We can just - " She silences his words with her lips, her hands boldly tangling in his shirt tail and pulling the wet fabric up until he takes the hint and removes it from his chest. Standing there in a pair of wet trousers with tousled hair, Gilbert watches as Anne rakes her gaze over him before standing back and pulling her nightgown up to her shoulders. She struggles as the wet cotton sticks to her, giggling as he helps her lift the garment over her head and press it to her chest.

Her laughter dies abruptly when she realizes that she's standing before a man, naked, in broad daylight. Exposed, she tries to cover as much skin as she can with the fabric in a frantic move that makes the colour rise across her skin. Endeared by her movements, Gilbert shucks his pants in a confident motion and steps towards her until his skin is pressed to hers, his breathing unsteady.

"You are beautiful and brave. You are intelligent and kind. I love _you_, Anne," he murmurs and bends to capture her lips with his. Her heart plays a staccato beat in her chest and slowly her fingers release the wet nightgown, the remaining barrier between them abandoned on the floor as Gilbert pulls her closer.

They stumble wildly towards the bed, all roaming hands and steady heat until they're tumbling onto the quilt and frozen, staring back at one another. Gilbert heaves for breath as Anne shifts further up the mattress, eyes never leaving his as he kneels above her. Their shared body heat makes the September morning chill of the room disappear and drives their attention solely onto one another, rapt with want.

"Gilbert," she breathes when his gaze drags over her, his hand sliding up her side and trailing goosebumps in its wake.

"Anne," he counters playfully before dipping his head to capture her mouth with his. He takes it slow, searching and testing the waters as she writhes beneath him. When eventually his hand slips between her legs, his fingers finding her wanting, he shudders out a breath and presses his forehead to hers. "Tell me you're ready," he begs, his body tight as he hovers next to her.

Her eyes meet his, her hands coming up to cup his cheeks as she smiles up at him. "Please," she breathes in reply, the rush of excitement crashing into her as he shifts above her. He joins them together slowly, achingly, and she tries to keep the pain from showing on her face.

"Am I hurting you?" He freezes, panic lacing through him as his eyes catch sight of her expression. Though it takes everything he has in him to stop moving, he can't bear to continue if he's causing her pain.

"Don't stop," is all she can manage, lifting her mouth to his and stealing the concern from his lips. It takes another moment, a drawn out bite of pain, but soon the feeling eases and she's able to exhale once more.

Their coupling doesn't last long after that. A short number of thrusts later and he can no longer keep himself together, spilling himself inside of her and tucking his head into her neck in exhaustion. Anne clings to him as he huffs against her breasts, his hand lazily trailing upward until his finger is dragging her chin down to look at him.

The smile that curls at the corners of her lips reassures him that she's okay, the unspoken words between them saying everything that he needs to hear. She doesn't regret it. She isn't afraid.

"I love you," she whispers as his breathing steadies, his nose nuzzling into her neck as his hand slips below her waist.

"Romantical and all?" He murmurs as his fingers slip between her folds. She jolts at the contact and groans in surprise, the feeling new and exciting as he explores and drags sounds of pleasure from her lips.

"Romantical and all," she affirms sheepishly and curls into his hand, accepting his touch and flinging caution to the wind.

She realizes then that change is inevitable, like the tide rolling in, and that if she doesn't embrace it she'll get swept away, lost at sea. The point of it all was really rather simple when she looks at it - Gilbert loves her and she loves him. That's enough for now, they'll figure out the rest later.


End file.
